Flaco Tempranillo, 2018 (Spain)

“Dude.”

Price at Purchase: $7.99

Location: Gus’s Market (multiple SF locations)

Dust off those passports again, because we’re heading to Spain! Tempranillo is a new-found obsession of mine (thank you, Monthly Wine Club gals!) and I tend to snatch up any bottle I can find. I’ve had my fair share of Cabs and Pinots, so a good bottle of Tempranillo is usually reliable to helps shake things up. But sadly, I’m not completely sold on this one.

Confession: I totally judge wine by the name. Flaco is Spanish for “Dude,” so I was optimistic that this would be the perfect blend of Spanish and California influences. Instead, it was a funky little number that started out promising but just got weird—like the roommate you met on Craigslist who seemed normal in the interview but has since adopted 4 cats and won’t leave her room. Not illegal, but a bit odd.

It has a great earthy and vanilla aroma to it, with subtle hints of tobacco. Honestly, I wish I could turn that fragrance into a candle or potpourri, because it smells amazing, but that’s all that this bottle is good for. After the first sip, it’s….well…pretty damn boring. It’s high in acidity, almost to the point where you feel it burning a hole in your tongue. But it’s not memorable and it totally lacks any flavor. Maybe we’re suppose to drink it with food? So I took a bite of my exquisite straight-from-the-box mac and cheese, and had another sip. Still tasted like nothing! It’s comparable to those work compliance trainings you have to take every few years. Not an ideal use of your time, but the company provided lunch, so you’ll suffer through it (and then ask for a fat raise).

The label claims that it’s “luscious” and “bright,” but I can confirm that it’s dull and flat. There are better Tempranillo bottles for cheaper that will be more flavorful—I’ll find them, I swear.

So I guess it’ll do if that’s all you have on hand, but don’t go out of your way to fight Carole over in Aisle 3 for this one.