Chateau St. Jean Pinot Noir, 2018 (California)

“Very Berry”

Price at Purchase: $6.39

Location: Safeway

This bottle had everything going for it—a gorgeous label, embossed emblem on the bottle, and the word “chateau”. Unfortunately, the awesome presentation definitely overcompensated for its taste. After opening the bottle and swirling it around for a few seconds (ya know, like the pros do), I got an abundance of fruit. Like, a lot. Like, too much. Some would say it was "berry" over the top. :-)

In fact, the word fruity doesn’t even start cover it; this bottle is a legit fruit punch to the face. Lingonberry mixed with blackberry mixed with raspberry mixed with strawberry. It was like one of those first dates where the guy pulls a James McAvoy in Split and comes out swinging with personality (or multiple personalities in this case) and you make eye contact with the bartender with a silent plea for help. But maybe I just needed to let it breathe a bit—after all, first date jitters can get the best of us.

Unfortunately, that was not the case for Mr. St. Jean. After letting it open up, and even using an aerator for my second pour, I still tasted so much sugar that I knew the next morning would be hangover central. If I wanted my glucose levels to rise that quickly, I would have stuck with shots of Fireball. That’s right, I would choose crappy whiskey over this bottle any day. It’s also extremely heavy for a pinot, so not what I wanted at all.

The label claims that this wine is “silky” and had a mix of “baking spices” thrown in for flavor, but I got zero silk. Maybe this would have gone great with the banana bread my sister won't stop making, to potentially highlight those "baking spices"? Or we could have just dipped the bread in the wine! But that's a should-a, would-a, could-a, since I threw out the bottle after that second pour.

Goodbye Mr. St. Jean. May your multiple personalities keep you company at the bottom of my trash can.