Beringer White Zinfandel, California

“Abso-fruitly No”

Price at Purchase: $3.15

Location: Safeway

It’s very rare that we take a sip and throw the rest of the bottle away. This was one of those moments. This White Zinfandel tasted AWFUL—like a horrible mix of cough syrup and sugar. While white zins are known for being on the sweeter side, this was absolutely disgusting, and there were no redeeming qualities about it.

Even the color of the wine looks cheap, and you know for a fact that drinking this will give you a hangover that will last until Twitter makes their employees come back into the office.

According to my knowledgeable wine sources (aka Wikipedia), White Zinfandel was supposedly invented “as a result of a stuck fermentation and fortuitous accident”. I have some thoughts on this:

~First, the only “fortuitous” thing about this wine is that I only wasted $3 on it.

~Second, this is pretty much the “oopsie” wine that never should have existed. Let’s keep it that way.

~Third, it's super low in alcohol content, so you'll be left with more of a sugar rush than a buzz. NEXT!